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Jonathan

I hate to sound...uhh...like a jack ass...but it has been my experience that being friends with girls is really hard to do. I mean it is easy in just a passer-by-friendship/acquaintance, but to really be friends with a girl and hang out with her is a hard thing to do. I'm sure this is not the case for everyone and I think this feeling may change with age and wisdom. Me personally, I have to almost be friends with a girl before I want that further relationship. Of course there are many girls that I am attracted too without having actually talked to them, but I really like the idea of knowing who they are first and being friends. Although if the friendship goes too far, you can almost surely forget about persuing anything further. Unless there is complete mutual sharing of feelings. I can friends with, and good friends with, a girl. I am. BUt for the most part at one time or another those thoughts creep up on you. Im sure there is an old saying that girls and guys cant be best friends....because of the attraction issue. Unless my best friend was right hideous I would probably end up being attracted to her at one point or another. But even if she was hideous she would be my friend because of the things we have in common and because she is fun and hilarious and has an amazing personalty, so even then I would have those feelings creep up at sometime. It is almost practically inevitable. I imagine this isnt the case with everyone, and I do maintain friendships with girls, but with almost all of them the thoughts of taking the relationship further have come out into the open. For the most part nothng bad happens. At least not anything that cant be fixed. It is a hard thing to be friends with another girl. And I mean real friends. Like the boys. Its tough. Although I believe there are occasions when it is possible, but rarely in my mind. Dont get me wrong. I wil try to be firends. But I cannot lie to myself and say that there had not been feelings that went beyond the realm of friendship with that particualr friend. It can be overlooked and put behind and and the initial weirdness can be worked out gradually. That is just my perspective.

chris

Grr...you beat me to it. I should probably start getting up befor noon. I had this post set to apear on automatically, I wrote it the same time I worte my last one, and figured it was to much for one day. Truth be known I want to erase this post and wirte something else, but no that you have commented thats really not fair. I suppose I will just have to drown it in more bolgs.

Jonathan

sorry...better to just let it all hang out anyway...who cares if you dont end up liking it...i usually go back and read my posts and wonder why did i even bother...but then i guess its because thats what i felt at the time...its like a photograph of your mind...

The TRUE Bill

I believe that the band War said it first, my contemporary friend. That was, however (and as they say), before your time.

I believe the term for what you young men are puzzling over is "sexual tension".

It's interesting, you're take on this. Mine has typically been that that's why women make BETTER friends. That difference, that spark, even though we don't walk down that particular road, is one of the most interesting aspects of my friendships with the fairer gender.

In fact, I've had a similar experience with male friends who are gay. Even though I am not sexually attracted to them, their attraction toward me has fueled our relationships in such a way that is...how should I say? More exciting? I don't know. There's an element there that makes it a more fulfilling for me.

As I sit here and write, the statement that comes to mind is "it's like a marriage." I am, in some respects, married to my best female friends. Our "marriage", however, or I should probably say committment (I am already married to a great woman) is one of mind. And similar to situations where I wouldn't ruin my marriage by having sex with another woman, I exercise self-control and don't wreck these very precious friendships by having sex with THEM. As I said up top, in the final analysis, there's something about that whole paradigm--of having the possibility of crossing the line, but not doing so--that makes these relationships more interesting and fulfilling in my eyes.

'Nuff said. I'm getting too excited now. [just kidding]

Jonathan

Ok I agree that girls do make the best friends, i mean they are hot...so lets get that out of the way right now...there is only so many dudes bums that you can look at before you ahve seen them all anyway...girls have variety...i still think its hard to be friends with a girl without the feelings...sexual tension..coming up. whether thats good or bad...whatever...i can handle it...but sometimes its just difficult...of course difficult usually means interesting and interesting is never usually completely a bad thing. plus i much rather snuggle up with a girl who is a friend than say...chris...although i am sure chris is very nice to cozy up with...just not my preferred cup of tea...but i think girls and guys can be friends...even after relationships sometimes..or after those feelings of sexual tension get some air...you just have to communicate and work things out...its really not hard if you both just be honest...so i have come to believe...anyway War, Smashmouth...its all the same...the question has been posed and we will supply the answers...or something like that...adbusters sucks!

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