Discriminant Function Analysis

Health as a Commodity

“…without prints and blueprints, without maps and geometry, the world of modern sciences and technologies would hardly exist.”

Marshall McLuhan – Understanding Media.

 The final exam for my population health class consists of a poster and paper justifying the design for our health topic, as related to the target population. Reading the syllabus caused my mind to wander. Dreams of great posters and amazing public health campaigns filled my head. Technicolor dreams of vector based rendering and CMYG color plates danced across my lobes. This was going to be amazing.

                     “You would think at this level of university they would expect more from you. They
                        are supposed to be preparing you fro the real world”

                                                      Pigger – During a conversation in the living room.

 Nurses are not marketers, nor are they graphic artist. While intersectoral collaboration may be a pillar of primary health care, the definition is poorly applied. Posters from previous classes we displayed today, dreams were shattered and I felt ill. I have seen better work in high school. Bristle board backgrounds, complimented by contrasting construction paper accentuated a hodge-podge of random images scavenged from magazines. Even the font was an eclectic collection of news paper clippings.

                        “We have the technology; we just don’t want to spend a lot of money”
                                                     Family Guy- Fox

 It costs Sixty Two dollars to print a full color poster. You can create the design in programs as simple as Microsoft Power Point. Modern nursing science may have progressed thus far on cardboard campaigns. Anything thing is marketable, heath should be seen as a commodity. I wouldn’t buy cigarettes, beer, or fast food if their add campaigns consisted of collage on cardboard. 

Academia Crazy

It may have taken over three years to formulate a working theory, better late than never.

Every person I have ever worked with is crazy. Granted there are varying levels to this affliction, and they are generally based on myself as the ‘norm’. While it may not be fare to classify others using myself as a measuring stick, I am unable to determine suitable units of measurement. Purely qualitative in their nature and more than slightly bias, the observations are nonetheless valuable to my research.

Crazy is as crazy does. Am I crazy? I suppose it would depend who you measure me against. Then again, I can unequivocally state that I am crazy. Craziness may be divided into several definitions, ranging from insanity through foolishness to intense enthusiasm. It’s the ambiguity of the word, combined with lacks definitive values to base a diagnosis that enables everyone and anyone to be crazy.

While some of the people I have interacted with over my brief 24 years could be classified as ‘insane crazy’, I must admit very few would actually meat the DSM IV TR criterion. There are plenty of people who are “enthusiastic crazy”. The kid in high school that only wore NASCAR T-shirts, he was crazy. The guy who never stopped talking about hockey, equally crazy. Some people are crazy about dogs, dolphins, motorbikes, the color blue, money, the list goes on. While being enthusiast crazy cannot be healthy, I can deal with it. Theses people tend to flock together, they have conventions where they play dungeons and dragons, or talk about star trek. They stay away from me and I stay way from them.

Foolishness is the crazy you cannot avoid. Provided you stay clear of the convention center on “baseball card day” you’re guarantied not to be caught up the inevitable debates; like who was a better left fielder, Ted Williams or Lou Brock. Foolishness on the other hand cannot be avoided, and it’s often difficult to ignore. I have trained my self to ignore the Looney Toons characters embossed on car seats, and floor mats but no matter how hard I try I cannot escape foolish thoughts, ideas, and actions. I will sit back and think, “How can anyone be this crazy? Isn’t the correct answer obvious? Why are we doing this?”.

The answer is no, it isn’t obvious. The more time you spend educating yourself, the more and more you think your right. That’s why your manager at work, with 20 years of experience and no grade 11 thinks he is a genius. It’s the same reason you think your smarter than him. It’s the same reason that those with a PhD are many times crazier than some one with a baccalaureate.

You will never avoid the crazy. It will surround you in many forms for your entire life. By becoming the craziest individual, you will inherently become the smartest. Academics are simply one type of foolishness. Instead of debating the merits of a level 12 dwarven fighter vs a level 8 elf wizard with an enchanted scepter, you debate the merits of reverse DNA trascriptase in the mitochondria of single celled aquatic organisms, or the perceptions of aboriginal women towards cervical screening by white health care workers. Crazy is a perception, and it will always be based upon your self, your education and your values. Crazy is not something that you can fight; the battle will lead to further, more intense levels of crazy. Embrace your crazy, love your crazy, and strive for crazy.

In the New Year I will be applying to graduate school, bringing me one step closer complete crazy.